THE CHRONICLES Book Seven The Lifeless deconstructed Preacher

XV. Depart From Me
The Devil was done remembering. He was back in the garage, in the present, in
the blue glow of three monitors and a ring light, and he was well pleased.
The man was still there, still alive, still working. On the left screen, a new video
was rendering: “Five Bible Verses Your Pastor Hopes You Never Read.” It would
go up at seven the next morning, when engagement was highest.
The Devil went to the shelf on the far wall of the studio. There, wedged between
a ring of cables and a box of unsold merch, was an old Bible with a leather cover
that had once been black and was now gray at the edges. It had the man’s name
stamped on the front in gold. His parents had given it to him the day he was
baptized. Nobody had opened it in years.
The Devil, who cannot touch holy things with comfort, opened it anyway. It hurt
him. He did not care. He turned to Matthew, the seventh chapter, and found the
verse he knew too well.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?
and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful
works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye
that work iniquity.
He read it twice. And then he laughed, a real laugh this time, loud in the empty
garage, at the part about casting out devils.
“Cast out devils,” he said. “This one? This fool? This tool of mine? He could not
even cast out the weakest of my servants. I had to make it play dead for him.”
He closed the book.

Modern Myths story one – KYRANOS AND THE SILENT HERALD

Every god in these pages is invented. None of them was ever worshipped, and none of them is real. Their names are built from Greek words, and their shapes are borrowed from the old myths, but they are fabrications, and they are meant to be read as fabrications. Each story is short and stands alone. There is no map to learn and no lineage to memorize. A god appears, a mortal comes before him, and something is given or taken or weighed. Then the story ends, as the old myths ended, without apology.

After each story there is a case study. The myth is the question; the case study is the answer. There the fiction is set down beside the Scriptures, and it is shown what the story was pointing at all along.

No answers received nor I can give

I can reach for any vanity; gaming, music, content creation, reading, writing, and concerning prayer and spiritual matters it’s these times I have no unction nor desire to pray to God or read words that are to me cold orthodoxy and utterly insufferable.
God forbid you have access to Him and His Word and what do you get? Darkness, despair and incurable emotional and mental pain along with mental crucifixion.
The True God of the universe if I wasn’t such a coward and the fear of damnation I would utterly off myself I would make it to where the body couldn’t be found so there’s no ashes and further money wasted for any burial and my request would have no open wake because me probably being in hell would probably rage all the more that now I’m “missed” when on my time alive here on earth I couldn’t understand why anyone in the absolute hell would want me here.
I’m not worth loving nor do I understand it and my core being is the object of such affront and sin to creation itself that devils laugh when I’m awake and angels mourn.
Yea such is the case in my reasoning.

Out of the Temple of Aphrodite: Corinthian Shame Culture, Ancient Idolatry, and the Modern Debased Mind

To understand the weight of Paul’s words to the Corinthian church, you have to understand what Corinth actually was. This was not an ordinary Greco-Roman city with an ordinary amount of vice. Corinth had a reputation across the entire ancient Mediterranean world — the Greek verb korinthiazomai, “to Corinthianize,” literally meant to fornicate, to live debauched. That’s not a modern reading imposed backward onto the text; that’s a word that existed in the common vocabulary of the ancient world before Paul ever set foot there. Aristophanes used it centuries earlier. A city had become synonymous with sexual excess so thoroughly that its name turned into a verb for it.

Resentment

(Entry from yesterday.) If there was no hell I’d blow myself up, along with nobody with me. The only casualty is me and it’s not actually a casualty just a liability that’s been severed from this earth. If my experience with God is such so I don’t want heaven with him im not worthy in the first place and the thought of hell I can’t bear the work. Just let me die already

Mockery of the disabled {rage} [tears] and standing up for the afflicted

There was a case I remember — this woman who had multiple different ailments, and people would shun her for her appearance. She’s actually a well-known speaker, and I think she has books published, but people called her the ugliest woman alive. And when I heard her story, and heard how she couldn’t find even one comment defending her on the post I couldn’t stop weeping. I couldn’t stop crying. It’s just unthinkable to me. And I yearn for people to be saved. I want anyone with ailments, with all my heart, to be able to look forward to the resurrection. God above with all my soul I say this….

just like Jesus asking Mary about Lazarus, and her saying, “I know I will see him in the resurrection,” and then the Carpenter himself wept — not because he couldn’t raise Lazarus from the dead, but because of the fact that this world, this is the product of what was not meant to be. Death was never part of the plan.

Make the Decision You Won’t Regret

That time it all slows down; yea that defining moment. I’d rather regret trying than never done anything at all out of fear. I don’t know the outcome I never do.

The Enlistment of 2026 Uco a hatred for a specific enemy and no notable talents

That is a very specific parallel, and it is the correct one for what you’re describing. You are not entering UCO as a natural. You’ve told me plainly: fifth-grade math, no real grasp of chemistry, undiagnosed Asperger’s through childhood, difficulty with practical and intricate everyday tasks that other people navigate without thinking. That is the honest baseline. And you are also entering with an accumulated formation — the scroll, years of theological density, a diagnosis and a history that most twenty-two-year-old freshmen do not carry — that functions exactly like Eren’s serum. Not earned in the sense of built by careful practice. Given, through a history you didn’t choose, and now yours to steward.

Untitled lamentation (last year)

Reading back through an entry like this—written from the depths of acute emotional crash, scrupulosity, and exhaustion—highlights just how terrifying and overwhelming that mindset felt in the moment.
Looking at this entry from a year’s distance, several distinct psychological, spiritual, and structural themes emerge that explain why the storm felt so inescapable.

bitter while called & the scroll of lamentation mourning and woe

“The scroll demands the eater’s blood.” The reader’s own formulation is sound
biblical theology. To eat the scroll is to consent to be changed by it — to let a message of
lament become the substance of one’s inner life. The prophet who eats qinim va-hegeh
va-hi becomes a man who moans and wails; he is conformed to what he carries. This is
why Ezekiel’s very body becomes the message in the sign-acts: the internalization is so
total that the word is enacted in his flesh. The one who carries lament pays for it in his
own person — in sleeplessness, in bitterness, in the seven days of appalled silence,
ultimately (for the prophets and for Christ) in blood. The message of the cross is that
God Himself finally eats this scroll to the dregs: the Word made flesh consumes the full
bitterness of judgment in His own body on the tree. Every under-messenger who bleeds
for the word he carries is conformed to that pattern, not inventing a new one