Tag: SelfHarm

No answers received nor I can give

I can reach for any vanity; gaming, music, content creation, reading, writing, and concerning prayer and spiritual matters it’s these times I have no unction nor desire to pray to God or read words that are to me cold orthodoxy and utterly insufferable.
God forbid you have access to Him and His Word and what do you get? Darkness, despair and incurable emotional and mental pain along with mental crucifixion.
The True God of the universe if I wasn’t such a coward and the fear of damnation I would utterly off myself I would make it to where the body couldn’t be found so there’s no ashes and further money wasted for any burial and my request would have no open wake because me probably being in hell would probably rage all the more that now I’m “missed” when on my time alive here on earth I couldn’t understand why anyone in the absolute hell would want me here.
I’m not worth loving nor do I understand it and my core being is the object of such affront and sin to creation itself that devils laugh when I’m awake and angels mourn.
Yea such is the case in my reasoning.

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Out of the Temple of Aphrodite: Corinthian Shame Culture, Ancient Idolatry, and the Modern Debased Mind

To understand the weight of Paul’s words to the Corinthian church, you have to understand what Corinth actually was. This was not an ordinary Greco-Roman city with an ordinary amount of vice. Corinth had a reputation across the entire ancient Mediterranean world — the Greek verb korinthiazomai, “to Corinthianize,” literally meant to fornicate, to live debauched. That’s not a modern reading imposed backward onto the text; that’s a word that existed in the common vocabulary of the ancient world before Paul ever set foot there. Aristophanes used it centuries earlier. A city had become synonymous with sexual excess so thoroughly that its name turned into a verb for it.

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Resentment

(Entry from yesterday.) If there was no hell I’d blow myself up, along with nobody with me. The only casualty is me and it’s not actually a casualty just a liability that’s been severed from this earth. If my experience with God is such so I don’t want heaven with him im not worthy in the first place and the thought of hell I can’t bear the work. Just let me die already

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The tide of the deep

An entry from a few days ago I think the worst day of this year arguably, in a cognitive better mindset now, and the Lord gave me comfort through other people later on. There is no clean way to express mental illness & health. A lot of grief could’ve been avoided if I would’ve been honest with God from the get go those years back when I started reading the scriptures serving like I wasn’t angry, angry enough to die at God furious suppressed it all, masking it day in and day out at church services serving doing everything. And eventually, my mind burst asunder just like Judas did when he hung himself and that was the first attempt, the second attempt was the same thing. There is healing in expressing grief, covering up sorrows, will utterly erode you inwardly. Psychologytoday.com is where you can get help with therapy, but you have to want the help. Nobody can make you. It’s not that I doubt the truth. It’s that I believe it’s so much that it utterly scares me ruins me almost even in a sense and the very thing I grasp that’s pure and frankly the only reason to be alive: 1 Corinthians 15:19 (ESV)
“If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” It’s not that God is evil. It’s that we live in a fallen world. He doesn’t promise He will-heal you from everything but he will give you Hope in the
madness
/ˈmadnəs/
[the quality or state of being mad: such as
a: a state of severe mental illness]

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Where is the debater of this age? God has made foolish the wisdom of this world.

A Strong Word Before We Begin If you have ever walked away from a conversation about God feeling out-argued, embarrassed, or quietly afraid that the “smart people” have figured something out that leaves your faith looking naïve—this piece is for you. The aim here is not to help you win arguments or consign anyone to […]

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THE LAW OF EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE

The opening narration of the series, spoken by Alphonse Elric, codifies this in language that has become iconic: “Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy’s first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world’s one, and only truth.”

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I hate them with upmost hatred God don’t spare a single one of them.

does not become a soldier out of ambition or duty. He becomes a soldier because he has seen something that should not exist doing something that should not be permitted, and he wants it erased from the earth. “I’ll kill them all,” he says. “Every last one.”

Such is the same when I think of my mother on her last days she will will me devoured by death which comes for us all namely due to sin and Lucifer our fall in

The garden death entered the world and such is the object of my rage and tears at the devil in that day not at God it was never meant to be this way. Whenever I recall these things, my family passing away or possible friends there is no comfort and I’m beside myself

Read More I hate them with upmost hatred God don’t spare a single one of them.