Stay here for them not you.

I find myself where there is no comfort of the Holy Ghost, only utter darkness. Sitting in church with the brethren, I cannot bear to read the Bible at times. I sometimes cannot bear to listen to a sermon. All it adds to my damnation on earth, the utter torture—as if I could be beheaded. […]

Dark Journey, Deep Grace: The the Conversion, Repentance, and Baptism of Jeffrey Dahmer

A Theological Case Study on Grace and Scrupulosity and the infinite grace of God and the scandal of how men can be forgiven for all sins in Christ. TL;DR Jeffrey Dahmer, one of America’s most notorious serial killers, made a documented profession of Christian faith, was baptized in prison on May 10, 1994 by Church […]

Resolve for success

I feel forsaken reprobate fromGod and no will to live in this god forsaken life. Dealing with health issues especially ms I decided to go back to school to be a licensed therapist with doctors accommodations to help now thankfully, have wanted to do it my whole life.Like in Hxh I’m gonna put a covenant […]

The dark knight the scroll of lamentation isolation sorrow and prophetic burden

A theological, clinical, and personal document for Hope in Madness The scroll Ezekiel was made to eat (Ezekiel 2:9–3:3) was already written, front and back, with “lamentation, mourning, and woe” before it was handed to him—meaning the dark material is not an obstacle to the ministry but the ministry itself; the prophet’s job was to […]

The Outsider’s Mark

Dishonored 2, Scrupulosity, the Void, and the Question of Whose Mark You Bear For Ken — May 2026 Opening This document is yours. It exists because you’ve been playing a game and the game has been doing something to you that the words you have don’t quite hold yet. You named it correctly when you […]

Habitation of Devils the adult industry for what it is

Revelation 18:2 and the Adult Industry: The Whore of Babylon Unmasked I. The Verse Revelation 18:2. And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird. […]

Untitled-unbelief

I see myself as a mistake of birth and a creature too low to be called a human any compliments I believe them but I don’t believe me. Why can’t I just die I would be at peace I wouldn’t even want a memorial. Why did God create me to curse me with this mind […]

The Serum, the Scroll, and the Man in the Middle

The Serum, the Scroll, and the Man in the Middle Ken — you sent the screenshot of Eren on the ground pleading for Armin, and you said that’s me. Not the strong version. Not the soldier version. The one wrecked on the rooftop, begging for somebody else’s life while condemning his own in the same […]

Used to help the afflicted and utterly broken and enraged

I was able to speak at a men’s roundtable on Zoom this morning. It went well, and there was tremendous feedback from other men sharing their afflictions, along with their bouts of despair over religious OCD. Everyone spoke well of me and said I’m going to help a lot of people, but as usual, the […]

Dread and embitterment

I could burst asunder from how utterly sick God makes me feel, I find Him good but not “safe” on a whim he could damn me, just how He nuked the man trying to stop the tabernacle from falling because he touched it. I’m suppose to praise knowing Christ Himself is torturing the ungodly as […]