Accusation on high to the almighty. Where were you?

An old journal entry Why didn’t Christ help those Puritans that killed themselves? I tremble in my own heart at my anger at God concerning this. I know He’s not evil, but it hurts so bad that people live with this mental crucifiction. I’m tired.d. I look at other Christians—I get tired of hearing it. […]

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners the book that made me realize I was not alone

Table of Contents ABOUT THIS PARAPHRASE……………………………………………………………………………………………………1 PREFACE…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..2 GRACE ABOUNDING…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….4 An Object of Wrath………………………………………………………………………………………………………….4 Conviction and Reformation………………………………………………………………………………………………5 Hope and Fear……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….7 The Storm of Doubt……………………………………………………………………………………………………….13 Established in the Truth………………………………………………………………………………………………….15 My Fall from Grace………………………………………………………………………………………………………..18 The Path to Deliverance………………………………………………………………………………………………….25 Honey from the Lion………………………………………………………………………………………………………30 Trials through Illness……………………………………………………………………………………………………..32 My Call to Ministry…………………………………………………………………………………………………………33 Pride and Spiritual Gifts…………………………………………………………………………………………………..36 Lies and Slanders………………………………………………………………………………………………………….37 MY ARREST […]

The zero that became the most dangerous thing in the room

You sent screenshots of Naoya’s flashback — the moment the golden boy of the Zenin clan walks into the room expecting to find a pathetic face on the family failure, the man with zero cursed energy, the one they threw in the pit with the spirits. And instead of finding broken, he found something his […]

Known or just used

I could say that I feel like a corpse, but that’s not sufficient to elaborate on the sheer deadness that I feel inside at this hour. I was watching cases of parents reacting to the suicidal deaths of their children. I have had my funeral flash into my head. I can’t understand why people would […]

Suicide in the church the forgotten accounts of religious despair, trauma, and torment.

History of suicide because of religious despair inside the church

ON SCRUPULOSITY By James Jackson (an old article I found.)

ON SCRUPULOSITY By James Jackson, “If we turn away from evil out of fear of punishment, we are in the position of slaves. If we pursue the enticement of wages … we resemble mercenaries. Finally, if we obey for the sake of the good itself and out of love for Him who commands … we […]

The dark side of Calvinism the forgotten historical cases of suicide inside the church

The psychological toll of Calvinist theology during the Reformation, Puritan, and Great Awakening periods produced a documented trail of despair, madness, and suicide among ordinary believers—cases often minimized in traditional church history. From a London wood-turner who attempted suicide ten times to prominent citizens who cut their throats in religious terror, the doctrine of predestination created what scholar John Stachniewski calls a “persecutory imagination” that tormented those who could not find assurance of their election. These are not merely famous cases like Luther or Bunyan; they represent hundreds of obscure individuals whose suffering appears in diaries, court records, and pastoral literature—voices largely buried until modern scholarship began excavating them.

Church history behind suicide and religious despair

This is an old article by I found on the history of how the church dealt with the awful reality of scrupulosity and religious despair Religious despair is the overwhelming loss of hope in God’s mercy and forgiveness. It is the conviction that one’s sins are too great to be pardoned, that salvation is impossible, […]

Memory Hoarding in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

An old article on memory Harding, remembering everything that’s forgotten, forgetting everything that’s remembered

THE HARLOT AND THE SCREEN

BABYLON THE GREAT, MOTHER OF PROSTITUTES AND OF EARTH’S ABOMINATIONS (Rev 17:5).
While the historical referent of this vision encompasses the totalizing systems of worldly power-Rome in John’s day, and every empire of idolatrous commerce since-the pornography industry stands as perhaps the most precise modern analogue to the Harlot’s economy. It traffics in the same merchandise: human bodies and human souls (Rev 18:13). It enchants by the same sorcery: pharmakeia, the drugging of the nations (Rev 18:23). And it will meet the same end: total, catastrophic, irreversible exposure and ruin.
This study traces three movements: first, the spiritual anatomy of Babylon as described in Revelation 17-18; second, the precise correspondence between Babylon’s character and the modern pornographic industry; and third—most terrifyingly—what the Day of the Lord means for those images that men now love, and how they will become objects of absolute horror.