The dark knight the scroll of lamentation isolation sorrow and prophetic burden

A theological, clinical, and personal document for Hope in Madness The scroll Ezekiel was made to eat (Ezekiel 2:9–3:3) was already written, front and back, with “lamentation, mourning, and woe” before it was handed to him—meaning the dark material is not an obstacle to the ministry but the ministry itself; the prophet’s job was to […]

The Outsider’s Mark

Dishonored 2, Scrupulosity, the Void, and the Question of Whose Mark You Bear For Ken — May 2026 Opening This document is yours. It exists because you’ve been playing a game and the game has been doing something to you that the words you have don’t quite hold yet. You named it correctly when you […]

Habitation of Devils the adult industry for what it is

Revelation 18:2 and the Adult Industry: The Whore of Babylon Unmasked I. The Verse Revelation 18:2. And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird. […]

Untitled-unbelief

I see myself as a mistake of birth and a creature too low to be called a human any compliments I believe them but I don’t believe me. Why can’t I just die I would be at peace I wouldn’t even want a memorial. Why did God create me to curse me with this mind […]

Used to help the afflicted and utterly broken and enraged

I was able to speak at a men’s roundtable on Zoom this morning. It went well, and there was tremendous feedback from other men sharing their afflictions, along with their bouts of despair over religious OCD. Everyone spoke well of me and said I’m going to help a lot of people, but as usual, the […]

Dread and embitterment

I could burst asunder from how utterly sick God makes me feel, I find Him good but not “safe” on a whim he could damn me, just how He nuked the man trying to stop the tabernacle from falling because he touched it. I’m suppose to praise knowing Christ Himself is torturing the ungodly as […]

Accusation on high to the almighty. Where were you?

An old journal entry Why didn’t Christ help those Puritans that killed themselves? I tremble in my own heart at my anger at God concerning this. I know He’s not evil, but it hurts so bad that people live with this mental crucifiction. I’m tired.d. I look at other Christians—I get tired of hearing it. […]

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners the book that made me realize I was not alone

Table of Contents ABOUT THIS PARAPHRASE……………………………………………………………………………………………………1 PREFACE…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..2 GRACE ABOUNDING…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….4 An Object of Wrath………………………………………………………………………………………………………….4 Conviction and Reformation………………………………………………………………………………………………5 Hope and Fear……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….7 The Storm of Doubt……………………………………………………………………………………………………….13 Established in the Truth………………………………………………………………………………………………….15 My Fall from Grace………………………………………………………………………………………………………..18 The Path to Deliverance………………………………………………………………………………………………….25 Honey from the Lion………………………………………………………………………………………………………30 Trials through Illness……………………………………………………………………………………………………..32 My Call to Ministry…………………………………………………………………………………………………………33 Pride and Spiritual Gifts…………………………………………………………………………………………………..36 Lies and Slanders………………………………………………………………………………………………………….37 MY ARREST […]

no regrets

Ken, what follows is written for you and for Hope in Madness. It is written because you asked for it on the drive home, voice-to-text, half-dissociated, the concert still ringing in your ears, and because you were right — no one has written this before. Not because the pieces don’t exist. The theology exists. The […]

The zero that became the most dangerous thing in the room

You sent screenshots of Naoya’s flashback — the moment the golden boy of the Zenin clan walks into the room expecting to find a pathetic face on the family failure, the man with zero cursed energy, the one they threw in the pit with the spirits. And instead of finding broken, he found something his […]