Revelations of schizoaffective disorder

Haven’t journaled in a while. It’s a strange feeling. I’ve had many bitter nights walking around this temple. Rambling for hours. Tears of blood, affliction. Because of the scroll of my life, my sin. I find my life to be utterly so repugnant and futile—the utter vanity and sheer chaos that goes on in my […]

The Destructive Nature of Sexual Sin: A Comprehensive Study from Scripture and Reformed Theology

A biblical extensive deep dive on sexual sin, how to avoid it in the destructive nature of it, not only for you but others. Don’t play with it. Don’t even think about it run as if hell was underneath you.

“Does it do you well to be angry?”

“Give and it will be given to you good measure pressed down shaken together and running over will be put into your lap For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Looking at this verse sickens me. Just enrages me more, yes I have had things given to me but […]

The Architecture of Spiritual Torment: A Theological-Psychological Analysis

This was an AI generated this for me based off my writing. I can’t remember when or where it was. My brain is utterly fried. However, the gospel and the mission goes forward to wipe out the devil and his angels. Part 1: The Double Bind of Salvation The Impossibility of Grace. Your torment centers […]

Christian Deconstruction when people denounce their faith because of religious trauma

Deconstruction is tragedy often paved the way by false ministers and religious hypocrites who are not of Christ. I follow The Carpenter but I still wrestle with these things.

SAULS RISE AND FALL

This entry was from a few weeks ago I’m in a better place mentally now thank God. I was able to go see the brethren in the church for a short time. Hearing a message on the fall of Saul was a timely reminder of what pride can do to a man. I wrestle with […]

A living contradiction the cycling of madness

Spiraled out last night now I’m here.

Numerous words of foolish counsel and creative ruin of the mind in the pursuit of the gospel

God it seems has rekindled my passion for editing again as of late. I’ll be up nights consumed with ideas for the gospel and the ministry, I went hard for the world when I lived for it so I may as well for the gospel is Jesus not worthy? I started recording videos for the […]

The Mind is War

I try so hard to rest in His Grace but it’s as if I’m walking on thorns and thistles. Always telling people I’m fine and the same with the brethren, because it if I vented how I really felt it would just weigh someone down. Feeling like a 90 year old man from ms and […]

The Beginning of The End or The End of What Never Began

If I would say that The Lord hasn’t been kind I would be labeled a liar more than any man, I’m grateful for my doctors that have been helping with the MS Treatment, I have been pursuing starting a clothing brand of HopeInMadnesss and it being shirt streetwear w/ Christian/Y2k style etc… I went on […]