Haven’t journaled in a while. It’s a strange feeling. I’ve had many bitter nights walking around this temple. Rambling for hours. Tears of blood, affliction. Because of the scroll of my life, my sin. I find my life to be utterly so repugnant and futile—the utter vanity and sheer chaos that goes on in my […]
Read More Revelations of schizoaffective disorderA biblical extensive deep dive on sexual sin, how to avoid it in the destructive nature of it, not only for you but others. Don’t play with it. Don’t even think about it run as if hell was underneath you.
Read More The Destructive Nature of Sexual Sin: A Comprehensive Study from Scripture and Reformed Theology“Give and it will be given to you good measure pressed down shaken together and running over will be put into your lap For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Looking at this verse sickens me. Just enrages me more, yes I have had things given to me but […]
Read More “Does it do you well to be angry?”This was an AI generated this for me based off my writing. I can’t remember when or where it was. My brain is utterly fried. However, the gospel and the mission goes forward to wipe out the devil and his angels. Part 1: The Double Bind of Salvation The Impossibility of Grace. Your torment centers […]
Read More The Architecture of Spiritual Torment: A Theological-Psychological AnalysisDeconstruction is tragedy often paved the way by false ministers and religious hypocrites who are not of Christ. I follow The Carpenter but I still wrestle with these things.
Read More Christian Deconstruction when people denounce their faith because of religious traumaThis entry was from a few weeks ago I’m in a better place mentally now thank God. I was able to go see the brethren in the church for a short time. Hearing a message on the fall of Saul was a timely reminder of what pride can do to a man. I wrestle with […]
Read More SAULS RISE AND FALLSpiraled out last night now I’m here.
Read More A living contradiction the cycling of madnessMy first blog post was explaining what the purpose of this blog is and what madness was namely Scrupulosity also in more ancient times called in Religious Melancholy and in more modern medical clinical terms: “Religious OCD” Concerning my blog: however I’ve learned more since then and wanted to expound more on this and post […]
Read More What Is Madness/Religious OCD (Updated)Yesterday in despair and as my mind was racing I heard in my head: “I’ve seen you at your highest and lowest.” I can only attribute it to The Lord, my countenance falls so easily because of my sin. I have the accuser on one hand whispering his lies and a condemnatory conscience on the […]
Read More I Saw YouLust has been a continually sin I have to specifically die to everyday, my flesh and the devil tempt me all the day concerning it especially at my job to gaze upon women with lustful intent. Confessions of trials and sin leads to healing and victory. So I want to go on this journey on […]
Read More A Covenant With My Eyes
MY STORY OF RELIGIOUS OCD 