Hidden When Obedient Wrath When Disobedient

““Today also my complaint is bitter; my hand is heavy on account of my groaning. “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not […]

I Saw You

Yesterday in despair and as my mind was racing I heard in my head: “I’ve seen you at your highest and lowest.” I can only attribute it to The Lord, my countenance falls so easily because of my sin. I have the accuser on one hand whispering his lies and a condemnatory conscience on the […]

Dejection Of Life

I’m too afraid to kill myself but if I could utterly destroy myself I would, why did I have to be born? God why? Why am I even here on this earth, so many words but such little power and yet lately it’s as if The Holy Spirit has departed I find myself falling into […]

Freedom

I’ve been processing so much since my last blog, there’s been so much liberty and restoration. I had backslidden quite heavy in 2024 and was becoming lukewarm, mainly in the areas of making gaming an idol and lust especially. By Gods Grace I was kept away from looking upon unspeakable things but that doesn’t excuse […]

Fearful of Death & Loathing Life

It only gets worse, I’m not done with Christ but I’m done with me. I think I’m improving and then another trial comes with despair of salvation. Feeling condemned because I don’t want to open up the Bible, so vanity and worldly things full my mind. If I read or not I feel condemned either […]

More Knowledge is More Sorrow

As of late if I’m not anxious I’m sad and when I’m anxious I’m sad, but the worse is when its both, I can barely feel the presence of God and the comfort of The Holy Spirit. My eyes are wasting away from grief and pain. As a wise man of God said: “If one […]

Misery in Obedience Convinced in Omission

I’ve been convicted of not obeying God as I’ve felt The Holy Spirit has been telling me to, I have continually heard: “I want you to let go of gaming.” In my head over and over the last year or so, and my soul sinks within every time I hear it. Though I try to […]