What I want I cannot obtain

If you’re let to donate to my ministry cashapp $hopeinmadness Met my advisor at college today. A lot of the anxieties I had concerning all of the details — financial aid, classes, et cetera — got cleared up. I attended college around four years ago, before I got the multiple sclerosis diagnosis. But I withdrew, […]

The root of bitterness

I went to service earlier today. During church, I get more so filled — talking to God’s people, God using them to speak through them. Concerning worship, I feel nothing. Concerning sermons, here and there I’ll get a word that I need to hear. It’s just that I wish there were more sermons about sorrow […]

The sorrow and rage of adolf Reinhard

A Hope in Madness document — using an anime life as a lens on masked suffering, betrayal, and the gentleness of Christ toward the wounded conscience. Adolf Reinhard of Terra Formars is a man of extraordinary gentleness hidden behind a scarred, frightening exterior — a husband who kept loving a wife who betrayed him and […]

The Man Beneath the Mask the Tobi Persona and the psychology of creating dual personalities from trauma to cope

A theological–psychological–clinical case study, prepared for Ken, of the ministry “Hope in Madness” TL;DR Key Findings Details I. A Close Reading of Obito’s Life and the Birth of “Tobi” Begin with the boy, because everything hinges on the boy. Obito Uchiha entered the story as the opposite of the Uchiha stereotype: not cold, not gifted, […]

The dangers of infidelity we must be better

Tonight has been very good. Very good indeed. I have found restoration of my spiritual condition. By no means perfect, but we will take it. A drop of honey is sweeter than a mouthful of dirt, obviously. Tonight with the students was very powerful. You could feel the conviction of the Holy Ghost very strong. […]

Stay here for them not you.

I find myself where there is no comfort of the Holy Ghost, only utter darkness. Sitting in church with the brethren, I cannot bear to read the Bible at times. I sometimes cannot bear to listen to a sermon. All it adds to my damnation on earth, the utter torture—as if I could be beheaded. […]

Dark Journey, Deep Grace: The the Conversion, Repentance, and Baptism of Jeffrey Dahmer

A Theological Case Study on Grace and Scrupulosity and the infinite grace of God and the scandal of how men can be forgiven for all sins in Christ. TL;DR Jeffrey Dahmer, one of America’s most notorious serial killers, made a documented profession of Christian faith, was baptized in prison on May 10, 1994 by Church […]

The Outsider’s Mark

Dishonored 2, Scrupulosity, the Void, and the Question of Whose Mark You Bear For Ken — May 2026 Opening This document is yours. It exists because you’ve been playing a game and the game has been doing something to you that the words you have don’t quite hold yet. You named it correctly when you […]

Accusation on high to the almighty. Where were you?

An old journal entry Why didn’t Christ help those Puritans that killed themselves? I tremble in my own heart at my anger at God concerning this. I know He’s not evil, but it hurts so bad that people live with this mental crucifiction. I’m tired.d. I look at other Christians—I get tired of hearing it. […]

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners the book that made me realize I was not alone

Table of Contents ABOUT THIS PARAPHRASE……………………………………………………………………………………………………1 PREFACE…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..2 GRACE ABOUNDING…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….4 An Object of Wrath………………………………………………………………………………………………………….4 Conviction and Reformation………………………………………………………………………………………………5 Hope and Fear……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….7 The Storm of Doubt……………………………………………………………………………………………………….13 Established in the Truth………………………………………………………………………………………………….15 My Fall from Grace………………………………………………………………………………………………………..18 The Path to Deliverance………………………………………………………………………………………………….25 Honey from the Lion………………………………………………………………………………………………………30 Trials through Illness……………………………………………………………………………………………………..32 My Call to Ministry…………………………………………………………………………………………………………33 Pride and Spiritual Gifts…………………………………………………………………………………………………..36 Lies and Slanders………………………………………………………………………………………………………….37 MY ARREST […]