Christian Deconstruction when people denounce their faith because of religious trauma

Deconstruction is tragedy often paved the way by false ministers and religious hypocrites who are not of Christ. I follow The Carpenter but I still wrestle with these things.

I was a beast before thee

Finding comfort in the Psalmist Asaph with accusations of God and embitterment with him

SAULS RISE AND FALL

This entry was from a few weeks ago I’m in a better place mentally now thank God. I was able to go see the brethren in the church for a short time. Hearing a message on the fall of Saul was a timely reminder of what pride can do to a man. I wrestle with […]

A living contradiction the cycling of madness

Spiraled out last night now I’m here.

Numerous words of foolish counsel and creative ruin of the mind in the pursuit of the gospel

God it seems has rekindled my passion for editing again as of late. I’ll be up nights consumed with ideas for the gospel and the ministry, I went hard for the world when I lived for it so I may as well for the gospel is Jesus not worthy? I started recording videos for the […]

The Mind is War

I try so hard to rest in His Grace but it’s as if I’m walking on thorns and thistles. Always telling people I’m fine and the same with the brethren, because it if I vented how I really felt it would just weigh someone down. Feeling like a 90 year old man from ms and […]

What Is Madness/Religious OCD (Updated)

My first blog post was explaining what the purpose of this blog is and what madness was namely Scrupulosity also in more ancient times called in Religious Melancholy and in more modern medical clinical terms: “Religious OCD” Concerning my blog: however I’ve learned more since then and wanted to expound more on this and post […]

Hidden When Obedient Wrath When Disobedient

““Today also my complaint is bitter; my hand is heavy on account of my groaning. “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not […]

Dejection Of Life

I’m too afraid to kill myself but if I could utterly destroy myself I would, why did I have to be born? God why? Why am I even here on this earth, so many words but such little power and yet lately it’s as if The Holy Spirit has departed I find myself falling into […]

Better Weak Than Strong

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, […]