I’m consumed with embitterment, if I could cut myself into bits I would. How long Lord? I try so hard to toil for the gospel and then I’m reminded about my sin and I fall into such despondency and despair and unworthiness and fear creeps and then of course I start wondering if I’m damned […]
Read More No RestTruly I tell you I want to give it all to Christ and His Kingdom, I grind my teeth and try so hard. I don’t want intellectual knowledge of the gospel but to have companionship with Christ. I don’t know what to do, I know my life isn’t my own and anything I’ve been given […]
Read More PowerLust has been a continually sin I have to specifically die to everyday, my flesh and the devil tempt me all the day concerning it especially at my job to gaze upon women with lustful intent. Confessions of trials and sin leads to healing and victory. So I want to go on this journey on […]
Read More A Covenant With My EyesI was convicted about a besetting sin in my life and the verse from the psalms that says: “Don’t rebuke me in your wrath!” came to mind. David (the writer) is knowing that he deserves divine discipline but he is asking for mercy and leniency. Have you felt the blows from the carpenter for rebuke […]
Read More Merciful RebukeLast night and today is where my soul feels vacant, Christs seems to be distant yet His Word says He’s always near. I mourn over the fact that I seem to have all the right things to say yet there’s apart of me that struggles to believe it myself and I’m left feeling like a […]
Read More Close To Me Far From Me“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, […]
Read More Better Weak Than StrongIf you have the eyes to see and ears to hear you find subliminal messages that pertain to the gospel even in things of the world that have nothing to do directly to the gospel however you can apply hidden meanings and compare. In Full Metal Alchemist there’s a law called Equivalent Exchange and it […]
Read More The Law of Equivalent ExchangeI haven’t been in the scriptures much lately, however last night I was desperate for a word from God because in these certain seasons my mind runs wild concerning scripture and I’ll feel condemned when reading a verse or hearing sermons. So in my heart I asked God to show me something, even if it’s […]
Read More Speaking what’s Precious not WorthlessIt only gets worse, I’m not done with Christ but I’m done with me. I think I’m improving and then another trial comes with despair of salvation. Feeling condemned because I don’t want to open up the Bible, so vanity and worldly things full my mind. If I read or not I feel condemned either […]
Read More Fearful of Death & Loathing LifeIt’s been nice to have energy at last, I feel like a human again, the medication to help with fatigue from MS has helped tremendously. Since I could remember I’ve been fearful of rejection and disappointing others, it’s no suprise that when I got saved I was continually fearful of God. Afraid that in His […]
Read More Relational OCD & Despair
MY STORY OF RELIGIOUS OCD 