How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, […]
Read More I can’t go on. I must go on.Last night and today is where my soul feels vacant, Christs seems to be distant yet His Word says He’s always near. I mourn over the fact that I seem to have all the right things to say yet there’s apart of me that struggles to believe it myself and I’m left feeling like a […]
Read More Close To Me Far From Me“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, […]
Read More Better Weak Than StrongI find myself humiliated before The Lord continually in my many wanderings. A video popped up on my feed, it was of one of my favorite preachers answering people’s questions they submitted. The question was: “Why did The Lord put us on this earth to go to hell?” The preacher explained how this isn’t a […]
Read More HumilityIt only gets worse, I’m not done with Christ but I’m done with me. I think I’m improving and then another trial comes with despair of salvation. Feeling condemned because I don’t want to open up the Bible, so vanity and worldly things full my mind. If I read or not I feel condemned either […]
Read More Fearful of Death & Loathing LifeAn angel could come from heaven and tell me that I’m not headed for hell and I probably wouldn’t believe it, it would take Christ to physically step out of heaven once again and talk to me face to face to comfort my soul. A perverse generation asks for a sign but I’m befit of […]
Read More Descent into Darkness & The Steadfast Love of The LordIt’s been nice to have energy at last, I feel like a human again, the medication to help with fatigue from MS has helped tremendously. Since I could remember I’ve been fearful of rejection and disappointing others, it’s no suprise that when I got saved I was continually fearful of God. Afraid that in His […]
Read More Relational OCD & DespairHaven’t blogged in awhile, there’s been so much on my mind I’m still trying to understand myself what’s going on, thankfully God knows and The Holy Ghost intercedes with groaning too deep for words. I know God has called me to speak His Word, I don’t wanna do it, would rather just stay in the […]
Read More HeartfeltAs of late if I’m not anxious I’m sad and when I’m anxious I’m sad, but the worse is when its both, I can barely feel the presence of God and the comfort of The Holy Spirit. My eyes are wasting away from grief and pain. As a wise man of God said: “If one […]
Read More More Knowledge is More SorrowI’ve been convicted of not obeying God as I’ve felt The Holy Spirit has been telling me to, I have continually heard: “I want you to let go of gaming.” In my head over and over the last year or so, and my soul sinks within every time I hear it. Though I try to […]
Read More Misery in Obedience Convinced in Omission
MY STORY OF RELIGIOUS OCD 