I Saw You

Yesterday in despair and as my mind was racing I heard in my head: “I’ve seen you at your highest and lowest.” I can only attribute it to The Lord, my countenance falls so easily because of my sin. I have the accuser on one hand whispering his lies and a condemnatory conscience on the […]

Dejection Of Life

I’m too afraid to kill myself but if I could utterly destroy myself I would, why did I have to be born? God why? Why am I even here on this earth, so many words but such little power and yet lately it’s as if The Holy Spirit has departed I find myself falling into […]

Outer Darkness

A few days ago I was about to take a nap and I imagined myself being at the bottom of the ocean, for some reason at times I imagine this and it utterly terrifies me. The pitch blackness and vastly unaware of what’s going on if I were to be down there. And then another […]

Horrors of Eternity

“My heart is in anguish within me; the horrors of death have fallen upon me.”‭‭Psalm‬ ‭55‬:‭4‬ ‭ESV‬‬ This is a night of doubt and terror in my soul, my heart has been stricken wondering if I’m real or reprobate. From what scripture speaks the gate is so narrow and few find eternal life, yet when […]

Surrender

We had a night of worship Tuesday, the topic was surrender. The Christian life is all about surrender and repentance we indeed have to put to death the deeds of the body and live holy for Christ. However I find myself getting stuck with a legalistic approach with this, I’ll obsess over killing sin to […]