Heartfelt

Haven’t blogged in awhile, there’s been so much on my mind I’m still trying to understand myself what’s going on, thankfully God knows and The Holy Ghost intercedes with groaning too deep for words. I know God has called me to speak His Word, I don’t wanna do it, would rather just stay in the […]

Heaven

When I get there (that little voice in my head says: “if I get there.” I want to see Christ first, if I receive any reward or diadems I’ll cast it to the ground, He deserves it all I didn’t earn any of it. I have so many question’s, I wonder if I’ll even care […]

Hatred For Intellectual Pride

I know that The Scriptures say the people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge, namely the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. What I believe the battle I always face is seeing Jesus more as “the truth” but not as an intimate person and God to commune and fellowship with as a believer […]

Ailments that helped lead to Salvation

Romans says: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭ Now I can choose to believe that or make up my own loopholes for that verse, in my heart I’ve questioned if the only […]

More Knowledge is More Sorrow

As of late if I’m not anxious I’m sad and when I’m anxious I’m sad, but the worse is when its both, I can barely feel the presence of God and the comfort of The Holy Spirit. My eyes are wasting away from grief and pain. As a wise man of God said: “If one […]

Misery in Obedience Convinced in Omission

I’ve been convicted of not obeying God as I’ve felt The Holy Spirit has been telling me to, I have continually heard: “I want you to let go of gaming.” In my head over and over the last year or so, and my soul sinks within every time I hear it. Though I try to […]

The Razor Guarding my Heel is nothing compared to the One on my Heart

Cut myself yesterday, the tears hurt me more than the cuts. I suppose because I didn’t feel the presence of God one bit, it says He’s near to the Broken Hearted but this comfort is foreign to me as of late. So I wept alone in my car alone on my break at work… I […]

Ironic Laments

It’s the same story, the same complaints. What can I say that I haven’t before? I’ve had to force myself to stop being angry because I’ll end up spiraling out and try to kill myself again. I love how God forms other Christians in their mother’s womb and they aren’t born with any mental illness. […]

I don’t want it to leave

I stayed up all night, I was restless in bed. I’m running on about 1 hour right now. I feel no doubt of salvation, no sadness, pain, nor anger. Those who’ve hurt me I hear no grudge against. I pray that the most wicked men repent and turn to Christ. I don’t want it to […]

Nobody like her

I don’t know what to even say, I feel like a husk of a man. Like the disregarded kernels of corn, my thoughts are vacant and dimly lit, it’s like The Holy Spirit is barely shining through closed curtains in me. That’s the only light I have, though it’s as if He has departed from […]