Scarcely Saved

Couldn’t bring myself to barely rise from bed today, I even missed the morning Bible study with the brethren. Lordwilling I can see the brethren tomorrow for church (I typed this yesterday unfortunately I missed church.) if I were to speak from my heart I truly have no hope. Heaven or Hell? Who knows, I’m […]

I can’t go on. I must go on.

How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, […]

No Rest

I’m consumed with embitterment, if I could cut myself into bits I would. How long Lord? I try so hard to toil for the gospel and then I’m reminded about my sin and I fall into such despondency and despair and unworthiness and fear creeps and then of course I start wondering if I’m damned […]

Power

Truly I tell you I want to give it all to Christ and His Kingdom, I grind my teeth and try so hard. I don’t want intellectual knowledge of the gospel but to have companionship with Christ. I don’t know what to do, I know my life isn’t my own and anything I’ve been given […]

A Covenant With My Eyes

Lust has been a continually sin I have to specifically die to everyday, my flesh and the devil tempt me all the day concerning it especially at my job to gaze upon women with lustful intent. Confessions of trials and sin leads to healing and victory. So I want to go on this journey on […]

Merciful Rebuke

I was convicted about a besetting sin in my life and the verse from the psalms that says: “Don’t rebuke me in your wrath!” came to mind. David (the writer) is knowing that he deserves divine discipline but he is asking for mercy and leniency. Have you felt the blows from the carpenter for rebuke […]

Better Weak Than Strong

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, […]

Speaking what’s Precious not Worthless

I haven’t been in the scriptures much lately, however last night I was desperate for a word from God because in these certain seasons my mind runs wild concerning scripture and I’ll feel condemned when reading a verse or hearing sermons. So in my heart I asked God to show me something, even if it’s […]

Fearful of Death & Loathing Life

It only gets worse, I’m not done with Christ but I’m done with me. I think I’m improving and then another trial comes with despair of salvation. Feeling condemned because I don’t want to open up the Bible, so vanity and worldly things full my mind. If I read or not I feel condemned either […]

Descent into Darkness & The Steadfast Love of The Lord

An angel could come from heaven and tell me that I’m not headed for hell and I probably wouldn’t believe it, it would take Christ to physically step out of heaven once again and talk to me face to face to comfort my soul. A perverse generation asks for a sign but I’m befit of […]