Memory Hoarding in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

An old article on memory Harding, remembering everything that’s forgotten, forgetting everything that’s remembered

THE HARLOT AND THE SCREEN

BABYLON THE GREAT, MOTHER OF PROSTITUTES AND OF EARTH’S ABOMINATIONS (Rev 17:5).
While the historical referent of this vision encompasses the totalizing systems of worldly power-Rome in John’s day, and every empire of idolatrous commerce since-the pornography industry stands as perhaps the most precise modern analogue to the Harlot’s economy. It traffics in the same merchandise: human bodies and human souls (Rev 18:13). It enchants by the same sorcery: pharmakeia, the drugging of the nations (Rev 18:23). And it will meet the same end: total, catastrophic, irreversible exposure and ruin.
This study traces three movements: first, the spiritual anatomy of Babylon as described in Revelation 17-18; second, the precise correspondence between Babylon’s character and the modern pornographic industry; and third—most terrifyingly—what the Day of the Lord means for those images that men now love, and how they will become objects of absolute horror.

The phone Screen as the High Place, the Swipe as the Sacrifice and the Plague That Follows

Biblical study on hook up culture sex and the lasting physical and spiritual effects of it and it’s utterly utterly terrible. The biggest scandal is that I’m tempted to do the very thing that could destroy my soul. I’d rather be hung by a noose than go to a harlot’s house or cheat on my […]

Worn.

Tonight was Wednesday night for the students. Very convicting, good message. A couple of them were baptized. I was rejoicing in my spirit about this. There can be an emotional response to the Gospel but not actually a spiritual one—namely, not true repentance. But with the way these kids have been pursuing the Carpenter, I […]

Rage at the most high God worship as torture not praise

This is an entry from around two months ago (possibly) I’ve had to repent of my foolish thoughts accusing God. I was embittered by the holiday theatrics, and everything being so happy—joy, joy, merry music—was an utter sound torture. Not that I’m blaspheming His church, but just overloaded. It’s as if I could’ve drowned in […]

Regret

Chains of salvation that pierce everyday I cannot remove them. I would rather live right than in hell lift up my eyes There are no sufficient words I can use as a metaphorical allegorical expression of such beckoning darkness I feel at this hour. The start of a new year ah yes the hell it’s […]

Revelations of schizoaffective disorder

Haven’t journaled in a while. It’s a strange feeling. I’ve had many bitter nights walking around this temple. Rambling for hours. Tears of blood, affliction. Because of the scroll of my life, my sin. I find my life to be utterly so repugnant and futile—the utter vanity and sheer chaos that goes on in my […]

The Architecture of Spiritual Torment: A Theological-Psychological Analysis

This was an AI generated this for me based off my writing. I can’t remember when or where it was. My brain is utterly fried. However, the gospel and the mission goes forward to wipe out the devil and his angels. Part 1: The Double Bind of Salvation The Impossibility of Grace. Your torment centers […]

A living contradiction the cycling of madness

Spiraled out last night now I’m here.

I Saw You

Yesterday in despair and as my mind was racing I heard in my head: “I’ve seen you at your highest and lowest.” I can only attribute it to The Lord, my countenance falls so easily because of my sin. I have the accuser on one hand whispering his lies and a condemnatory conscience on the […]