An angel could come from heaven and tell me that I’m not headed for hell and I probably wouldn’t believe it, it would take Christ to physically step out of heaven once again and talk to me face to face to comfort my soul. A perverse generation asks for a sign but I’m befit of […]
Read More Descent into Darkness & The Steadfast Love of The LordIt’s been nice to have energy at last, I feel like a human again, the medication to help with fatigue from MS has helped tremendously. Since I could remember I’ve been fearful of rejection and disappointing others, it’s no suprise that when I got saved I was continually fearful of God. Afraid that in His […]
Read More Relational OCD & DespairI Recently got diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis) (an autoimmune disease that eats away at the protective nerves and causes nerve damage.) Truly I cannot thank Jesus enough for it being caught early and to give me answers to why I’m so tired all the time/ fatigued. The doctor started me on medication to help […]
Read More Seeking a SignHaven’t blogged in awhile, there’s been so much on my mind I’m still trying to understand myself what’s going on, thankfully God knows and The Holy Ghost intercedes with groaning too deep for words. I know God has called me to speak His Word, I don’t wanna do it, would rather just stay in the […]
Read More HeartfeltWhen I get there (that little voice in my head says: “if I get there.” I want to see Christ first, if I receive any reward or diadems I’ll cast it to the ground, He deserves it all I didn’t earn any of it. I have so many question’s, I wonder if I’ll even care […]
Read More HeavenI know that The Scriptures say the people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge, namely the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. What I believe the battle I always face is seeing Jesus more as “the truth” but not as an intimate person and God to commune and fellowship with as a believer […]
Read More Hatred For Intellectual PrideAs of late if I’m not anxious I’m sad and when I’m anxious I’m sad, but the worse is when its both, I can barely feel the presence of God and the comfort of The Holy Spirit. My eyes are wasting away from grief and pain. As a wise man of God said: “If one […]
Read More More Knowledge is More SorrowI’ve been convicted of not obeying God as I’ve felt The Holy Spirit has been telling me to, I have continually heard: “I want you to let go of gaming.” In my head over and over the last year or so, and my soul sinks within every time I hear it. Though I try to […]
Read More Misery in Obedience Convinced in OmissionCut myself yesterday, the tears hurt me more than the cuts. I suppose because I didn’t feel the presence of God one bit, it says He’s near to the Broken Hearted but this comfort is foreign to me as of late. So I wept alone in my car alone on my break at work… I […]
Read More The Razor Guarding my Heel is nothing compared to the One on my HeartIt’s the same story, the same complaints. What can I say that I haven’t before? I’ve had to force myself to stop being angry because I’ll end up spiraling out and try to kill myself again. I love how God forms other Christians in their mother’s womb and they aren’t born with any mental illness. […]
Read More Ironic Laments
MY STORY OF RELIGIOUS OCD 